Mickey Olmstead and Dixie Olmstead George were the Green Team, and we spent time at the going away barbecue learning a little bit about each other. Dixie is a stay at home mom, and Mickey is a Texas oil and gas attorney. I chose not to hold that against him and agreed to share the name of my parole officer with him if he would trust me to get them to the site where their Father, US Navy CMDR Stanley E Olmstead lost his life in October 1965.
     To be alongside Mickey and Dixie for a nearly three hour climb, crossing that final hill and coming upon their Dad’s crash site, and to feel the exhilaration of discovery, the pain of loss, and the joy of life all at the same time was incredible. 
     I watched tears of sadness mix with tears of happiness, and felt them understand that they could now begin writing a new chapter in their lives. It was worth every step along that narrow mountain trail.
     I also had an opportunity to keep an eye on the Silver Team, even though they are a pretty independent bunch. 
     Audree Moran and her son Peter and daughter Kathy paid their respects to US Navy LT Charles K Moran, Jr. Audree and Charles had always wanted to visit the ruins at Angkor Wat in Cambodia, but his loss in February 1965 prevented that dream from becoming reality.
     As the teams split up to visit their sites, Audree, Patrick and Kathy flew to Cambodia and visited the temple at Angkor Wat, fulfilling Audree and Charles’ lifelong dream, with their children at their side.
     The whole emotional roller coaster began for me on Sunday March 2 at the briefing. I was sitting uncharacteristically quiet in the back of the room listening as each of you stood one by one, introduced yourselves and your Fathers to us. 
     “I’m Robbin Kelley Rasmussen and my Dad is Harvey P. Kelley.” Janet Alheit heard me gasp. I went over and tapped Robbin on the shoulder and asked to speak with her. The first thing she said to me was, “Did I do something wrong?”
     I told her no she hadn’t, I knew her Father in Vietnam. He commanded A Company, 1st/18th Infantry and I walked point in a platoon of B Company 1st/18th, 1st Infantry Division, the Big Red One. Our two companies worked together all the time in The Iron Triangle, Hobo Woods, War Zone “C” & “D” and the Michelin Rubber Plantation.
     I knew Capt. Kelley well enough to know that his men respected him and would follow him into hell because he respected them and treated them with dignity, unlike some other commanders who were merely “ticket punchers” and treated their troops as a necessary but undesirable liability. 
     To be asked by my dear friend Bill Duker to be on this trip in the first place was an honor. To be with each of you was, and is a privilege that doesn’t happen to many people in their lives. 
     Thank you all for allowing me to share with you the hopes and dreams, and lives and loves of your Fathers. Each of them made the world a better place for each of us, and each of them is proud of you. They are so lucky to have children like you, and I am lucky to have been in your presence.

In Love and Peace,
Jim Doyle
 

Yours in veteran service~
Connie Christensen Dyer, LTC AN USAR (Ret'd)
2nd Vice President/VVA Florida State 

     I guess I would have put off going back for at least another decade, but sometimes life has other plans for you.  I went to the November board meeting with a plan to ask for money to fund the SDIT trip for the sons and daughters.  It was discussed at some length and then Jan Scruggs proclaimed  "OK we'll sponsor a dinner give 'em 10 grand and we'll send Janis".  My breath caught in my lungs and time stood still.
     It was a done deal, now I had to do some planning.  Got all my shots, passport, visa, malaria pills and new travel clothes, accessories and luggage and a journal. Before I knew it, I was in Los Angeles and the adrenaline high that would last for 20 days had begun.
     Janis, good to meet you!  You'll be the medical person for the Purple Team. (Really....OK. Airway-breathing-circulation...got it)  Did you bring any medical supplies? (uh, no...)  No problem, we'll get em for you.  (God PLEASE don't let anything happen to the Purple Team!)
     That evening in LA we had meetings and a BBQ sponsored by the local VVA chapter, got to know some new folks and reconnect with S&D's from the previous 10 years.  Next morning more meetings and introductions.  Found out there would be 3 other nurse Vietnam vets and 15 guys who served in the war including a priest, a shrink, and one guy we called "the kid" cause he isn't even 50 yet.
     Flew to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) and checked into the Rex Hotel.  I remembered the Rex.  I have a picture of me standing on the roof top terrace in 1970 in a white mini dress.  It was very weird.  They threw a welcome party for us, delicious food, drinks and tentative conversations as we tread lightly around each other.  I had someone take my picture on the rooftop, and left early for bed.  I decided now would be a good time to resume smoking.
     The next two days were filled with activities from 7 AM till late at night.  We met our wonderful, kind, patient guide Song.  He had been in the ARVN as a lieutenant in Saigon working in personnel.  He watched the evacuation of the embassy and witnessed the Russian tanks break through the gates of the palace and raise the communist flag over the city. He spent the next 2 and a half years in a reeducation camp outside Danang, where his weight went to 65 pounds and he nearly died.  A masterful story teller today, with a wonderfully warm sense of humor, Song made the history come alive for us. 
     We toured the Presidential Palace, the marketplace, post office, and marveled at the Saigon traffic....thousands of motor scooters and bicycles looking like ants merging around each other, lots of horns, but here they meant "this is where I am" not "get out of my way"  no anger, only patience that it will all be OK because we work together.......  amazing.
     The second day we went to the Mekong Delta, rode on a river boat on the brown water and saw where many of our troops had served and died, the tears began here for many.  Lunch was a welcome diversion when we got to watch monkeys playing and get out picture taken with a Boa constrictor around our necks.  Of course I did it.
     The second day we went to Nui Ba Den (black lady mountain) and toured some gorgeous shrines and temples built into the mountain and then to the Cao Dai temple in Tay Ninh which is an awesome sight, and too long a story to go into.  The afternoon found us at the Cu Chi tunnels which are just north of the city, miles and miles of them that wind all under the province.  VC lived in them for years, some up to 10 until 1975.  About half of us decided to brave the tunnels, it's one of those things I'm glad I did and never have to do again.  Our team began the process of knowing and trusting each other and it was this day that Song christened me "Bacsi" (bok-see) the Vietnamese word for doctor.
     The Next day we flew to NhaTrang.  This brought back memories for me, we flew over where I served in Cam Ranh Bay.  Nha Trang is gorgeous, from there we drove up Hwy 1 to Tuy Hoa, where my friend Omie (Kathleen Rose Omahen that I joined the Army with) served.  We stopped at the scene of many battles and in small hamlets till we reached Qui Nhon.  We stayed at a really nice hotel on the beach and I got an hour massage for $7.  I couldn't go out to the beach, just wasn't ready to step that far back in time just yet.
     The next day (I have to tell you from the time we left I lost track of what day it was and only just figured it out yesterday.  Today is Friday)  we drove to Binh Son and Phuoc Lam and had the first of our site visits where  the sons, daughters, brothers or widows went to put their loved ones to rest in their hearts and minds.  Each site was unique, truly beautiful, spiritual, emotional, peaceful, healing........
     Each was given flowers and joss sticks (incense) and they could leave what ever they liked at the site.  Some left pictures or poetry, some old letters, citations or medals.  Most took dirt or flowers from the site, and most left an incredible burden that they had carried for so many many years.  I was so honored to be a witness to the transformation in their faces, in their entire beings, as they released the pain and finally , fianlly found peace.
     As we reached our 5 sites (which had been researched and pinpointed thanks to released documents, citations, men who had served with them, or locals who had witnessed the event) the villagers would follow us, the crowd growing as we walked into the site.  We had to hike 2 or 3  KM at most sites.  Song told us that at 3 of the villages we were the first group of white people they had ever seen. The locals always smiled and waved and followed us quietly, handing us flowers; some sang us songs.  What gentle people they are.
     The next day we boarded our nice little air-conditioned van again, I had the seat up front behind the driver where (by now) I am amused and only slightly adrenaline laden as we miss oncoming vehicles by mere centimeters.  We drove north on Hwy 1 stopping at the base of Chu Lai where we got to look at it from a distance and did another site visit.  On to Tam Ky  and An Phouc a battle site of F Trp 17th Cav in '69.  Detoured past LZ Baldy, past Que Son and then on to Antenna Valley, site of a Marine battle in '69 and another site visit by the side of a gently flowing river overlooking a scenic green valley and the mountains in the back ground.  Our daughter left her flowers, joss sticks and momentos and released a handful of petals along with her tears into the river.
     We spent that night in the ancient seaport of Hoi An.  We strolled around the city and found unbelievable bargains on silk, fake Rolex's, and only 5 bucks for lovely bottles of Bordeaux.
     The next day we drove to Hue, what a beautiful place.  Toured the Citadel where so many lives were lost, the bullet holes from the Marine battle still very evident.   We walked around the Forbidden City where the emperor lived, along with separate homes for the wife, mother-in-law, the concubines and the eunuchs.  I guess if you were king you had it made...till Ho Chi Minh anyway. 
     Spent the next 2 nights at a gorgeous hotel in Hue with heavy ornately carved furniture with silk cushions in the many lobbies, beautiful gardens and pools and great shopping, a bar where they could actually understand the difference between white wine and scotch.
     We went to Khe Sanh from there, where we walked out onto the old airstrip where the Marines were under siege for 28 days.  Lot's of ghosts in that place.
     We had lunch in Quang Tri Province where I gave an introduction to VVMF's Project Renew for  3 of the teams.  Quang Tri is at the 17th Parallel where Vietnam was divided and one of the most heavily bombed and mined areas of Vietnam.  A percentage of munitions don't go off at impact and are still lying around waiting to go off.   1000 people are killed or injured annually by unexploded ordinance.  The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund started a program 2 years ago to educate the population to the risk, and mark and dispose of this stuff and the casualty rate has decreased in that area by 90%.  Amazing program.  The Fund also has created and supports two libraries in the area.
     The next morning I got up and walked out onto my balcony, as I stood there looking over the beautiful gardens and the Bougainvillea's spilling over the railings I started to cry and then I started to laugh, and I did both  at the same time, just shaking my head at the wonder of it all.
     We drove over the scenic Hai Van Pass to Danang and stopped shortly at Red Beach where the first Marines landed in 1965.  Song said the girls from his high school class were called out and told to put on their best traditional dresses (pronounced ow-zi (long i) or ow-yi (long i) depending on where you're from) and they went onto the beach to greet them with flowers.
     Had lunch at a beautiful seaside resort in Lang Co before checking to the 5 Star resort of Furama where we were met with drinks in the open courtyard and our bags already in our rooms.  This was China Beach, and I knew my time had come.
     The support staff all had duties.  A site was established on the beach where the S&D'etc would walk down and at the first table they were presented with a rose (red for KIA, Yellow for MIA) and then the next table (mine) they received their joss sticks, and the next a marble urn made from the marble from Marble Mountain nearby engraved with their loved one's name and date.   From there we all gathered around, some prayers and poems were offered up and then each lit the joss sticks from a large torch and they each got to say something about what ever they felt.  Some were poignant beyond words, all were touching.  I was standing in the back and it was just all too much.  I turned and walked towards the sea.  Marsha, one of the Nam vet nurses was suddenly at my side.  I jumped and said "you scared the shit out of me" and started to cry.  She put her arms around me and just held me as I sobbed.  She said to me all the things I've said to other vets over the years:
It's OK .....We are the people we are today because of all we've been through....everything happens for a reason.........it's important to cry........
     We rejoined the group as each in turn shared what was most important for them to say.  It was one of the most significant events of my life.  That night when it was all over, I strolled out to the waters edge and sat there for what I thought was about 15 minutes, turns out it was closer to 2 hours.  I remembered all the names and the faces, the events and the times.  I recalled those who served, those who died, those who were important in my life and those I had to let go.  Songs played though my mind and as the surf lapped at my toes a great and gentle peace came over me as I let the South China Sea where it all began, wash the hurt away.
     My heart and my soul were at last unburdened and as I walked back to my room, I experienced a calm I have never known.